Hate and Tears
by Zenna95
Summary: Al always knew something was off about his brother, but he never knew it was something like this. T for language. Implied EdHei. WARNING: NOT A HAPPY STORY!


Sometimes I really wish you would go the hell away, Al. You're always so damn perky and nosy, and somewhere in the back of my mind I know you're just the same as you always have been and you're just worried about me, but it gets on my nerves. Scratch that, it just doesn't get on my nerves, it tramples them and shreds them 'til I'm barely keeping myself from snapping at you. I want the other Al back. I want you to just go away, to stay a part of my past that I don't have to remember. I want _my_ Al back. Heiderich. Not some whiny, little, bratty 17-year-old who only reminds me of _him._ Getting you back was only a distraction, something to do. You know how I am. I need something to do, otherwise I just crash. Like I am now.

You've got no clue what I'm thinking, staring at me with those curious eyes the color of brass, asking if I'm alright. Oh, don't give me that look! What did you expect, I'd spill my goddamn heart to you? No shit I'm gonna snap. Oh don't you start. No. Do NOT start lecturing like you think you know better than me. You're not Mom, you're not Winry, so stop trying and just _go away!_ It's not like seeing you is helping! And here comes that hurt look, why are you such a brat? You'd think that after getting your memories back you'd remember that I'm always distant, holding myself away from you.

I only pretended to want to get your body back first, you know that? Because it would fit what everyone else expected of us. Two brothers, missing the rest of their family. It would only make sense if we clung to each other. I'm not saying I wanted you to die, but hell, you could have stayed as scrap metal and I wouldn't have given a shit. Sure, I transmuted myself- but Envy was watching, remember? So that doesn't count. Stop trying to rationalize it. I. Hate. Your. Guts.

That's all there is to it.

Sure, I might've told Heiderich that I wanted to get you back- but that was my goal at the time. That's it. It gave me something to do. In truth... if he wasn't wrapped up in his work, and if he didn't have that damned lung disease... hell, Al, I was gay for him. Thank god he never found out. And right now, you remind me too much... it hurts to look at you, little brother, with your brassy eyes and chestnut hair, where I'm used to seeing blonde hair over blue eyes. You don't even have the decency to stay out of his fucking room. Just... go away already.

* * *

Unbeknownst to himself, Edward had murmured the last four words of his thoughts aloud. His little brother recoiled, eyes and voice displaying the hurt he felt.

"J... Ja, Bruder... aber..." The younger boy shook his head, cutting himself off.

"Nevermind." He walked off, leaving Edward to stare after him.

"Al? You okay?" He was back to pretending to be a protective older brother. All for appearance's sake. After all, what brother wouldn't be protective after regaining the sibling he thought dead? Alphonse looked over his shoulder.

"I'm fine, brother. You obviously want to be left alone, so I thought I would go back to the others." Edward's golden eyes flashed, troubled slightly.

"It's not that, Al, really... you wanted to ask me something earlier?" The younger boy swallowed and looked off to the side.

"N-no... well... yeah, I'm fine, brother." Edward arched an eyebrow, punching his little brother playfully in the shoulder.

"C'mon, Al, I know when you're curious. What is it?" Alphonse's lips tightened; he kept his eyes firmly closed.

"Brother... I just... I get the feeling you don't want me here. You glare at me when you think I'm not looking, and I know you don't normally open up to people but you don't normally yell at me either. I'm sorry if I upset you, but... what did I do?" During his explanation, the younger boy's eyes had opened. As such, he could clearly see the somewhat victorious smirk spreading across his brother's face. A grin similar to Envy's followed, sending a chill up Alphonse's back.

"So, finally figured it out, Al? You always were a smart kid... but maybe you should've noticed earlier. Say, last year, maybe." The confusion was evident on the younger boy's face; he took a step backwards.

"N-Niisan? What?" In his confusion, he had reverted to Amestrian, which seemed to be some mix of Japanese and English here.

"I never wanted you to come here. You were just a goal, it was something to do and nothing more. I'd take Alfons over you any day. At least he knew better than to pry into my life, and to cling to me like some lost little kid." The blonde advanced, gold eyes glinting in either anger or passion; Al couldn't tell which.

"Brother-"

"Oh don't try and guilt-trip me, Al! It won't work! You're just a brat who happens to be related to me. Hell, Envy's been a better brother, at least he had the decency to stay dead." Tears welled in the younger boy's eyes as he backed up another step. Why was his brother like this? What had he done wrong? Oh dear god, why was this _happening?_

"If you really care about my well-being, you little brat, you can just get the hell out of my life." Al couldn't take it anymore. He turned and ran, downstairs, through the flower shop, shouting a quick "Sorry!" to Gracia as he rushed past, trying to hide the tears streaming down his face.

Why?

Why had it turned out this way?

Why was brother like this?

Why couldn't Al do anything right?

Why?

* * *

A/Ns:

-I own nothing but the negligible plotline. I get no profit from this but entertainment and maybe a fan or two.

-Praise is nice, and flames can be used to burn my homework ^^


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